Fucking terrible gifts for cyclists

I dont eat pizza because I can't eat dairy

Ummm...

27 Dairy-Free Pizza Recipes That Will Make You Proud!

Dreeeeeeedge...

https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/342087/#comment15040112

;)

If we are dredging I want to know how the weeks of African drumming lessons went.

(See previous page)

This, so many box wrenches. The only part on any of my bikes requiring a box wrench is the bleed nipple on my Hope brakes, which is 8mm, which this tool doesn’t have.

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Spoke keys look like you’d get about 1/27th of a turn then hit the adjacent spoke.

My wife bought me 4 tubs of muc off chamois creme... i guess after 30 + years of marriage seeing less of me on a daily basis is a present to herself.

or she saw the state of your bottom?

four tubs?! Is your gooch like some kind of tropical rainforest?

Or red like a baboon.

Me too, I have little drummer boy going through my head now.

She's seen the state of my arse for many years now. She now just wants it further away these days.

Probably more like the the forest surrounding Chernobyl straight after the disaster with a smattering of radioactive dusty residue...

Perhaps that's why traffic stops when i bend over?

For the benefit of the tape this picture wss raken Christmas morning...

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Unsurprisingly the course got cancelled because there was no other interest.
They were going to run another one and let me know but I never heard from them again.
That was a bit of a blessing.
My family got a refund and bought me a bottle of I assume really nice whisky with it. I had given up alcohol a while before so I still have that for guests and emergencies.
It remains unopened as I have had neither.
Still have the drum. I use it as an ornament and conversation piece.
In a strange twist I joined a samba band for a few days in the XR rebellion in April. There I discovered I have absolutely no sense of rhythm or timing.
I won't be doing that again.
This year they got me a pair of Jeans. Terrible things to cycle in though.

Sorry but I am English, wtf is a ‘box wrench’? and no I will not just fncking google it.

Got a musical biscuit barrel.

Well, it is a very good chamois cream, but it's also the biggest tub on the market to start with...

I got a 12 year old Bunnahabhain. Fucking delicious and takes the edge off the array of garish socks that accompanied it.

No cycling-specific gifts for the first time in a long time, which is good as I'm a selfish cunt and look after my own needs. Shite like that spanner ^ just upsets me.

One of these.

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Presently I consider myself a major shareholder in muc off

Not a tool that gets commonly used on a bike is what it is.

I got a t shirt that says MALE CYCLIST in huge letters across the front.
I think it's supposed to be ironic.

Yep got one of these too. It’s going to linger in my rucksack for emergencies.

I got a book called 50 Places To Bike Before You Die. It's not shit, but 50% of the routes are in the USA, a place I will/can not go to. The other places are a bunch of places I've been to or the info is no use to me e.g. go here, pitch a tent or get a B&B while cycling 35 miles daily, which ain't particularly how I roll.

But it was bought by fucking great people who love/tolerate me and put thought into it. So, I will get no use out of this book, but I will continue to love these people. But if anyone thinks they'd use the book, PM me...