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Do I stomach the cost myself?
Yes, the reason being is that the seller will need to claim on his postal insurance, and he can't do a partial claim, it's all or nothing. So if he does a full refund to you he keeps the value of the item and you get your money back. If he gives you a partial he loses the partial.
Bought something on eBay, £50 or so. Arrived, has suffered damage in transit but should cost £5-10 to resolve, at a guess.
Message seller asking if he's ok to cover the cost, he says that he'd prefer to just process a refund if I return it.
I don't really want to return it, but I'd like to be in the condition it was pictured in. Do I stomach the cost myself?