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  • Korda and Nash are stuffed to the rafters with absolute bellend Essex young 'uns who all talk the same annoying as hell 'bosh come on get in the net' bollocks

    Ali Hamidi and Danny Fairbrass (korda) absolutely grind my shit, can't stand the pair of them

  • Wot, wiv vere perfect for TV teef, innit? Bet their tiny testicles are branded too, everything else within 10 nautical miles is.... I particularly enjoy the 120 yard (furty wraps, mate) casts, because they smack in their latest mega bivvy pegs with a lumphammer and stampede around the bank like baby elephants, so every fish in the immediate area buggers off.

    Have you noticed that the embryos always have gear a step or so down the sponsor's range? The top end is reserved for the alpha male fat lads.

    Make the little bastards try to catch roach on a stick float in a gin clear February river, I say, then we'll see how good they really are!

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