Owning your own home

I'm Bristol based, not London, but work with a lot of people who do similar length commutes.

Speaking to them, I get the impression that it is a real drag, and can/does wear you out. It prevents you doing stuff in the evening because of lack of time and tiredness. And any delays on public transport are magnified on a practical & emotional level.

Personally, if I were to do it, I'd assume two days wfh a week.

If kids are on the cards - and they should be judging by the size of the place - check out the kind of services that are available near superhaus - it's difficult to beat what is on offer for new parents in London proper and other large cities and this plays a huge role in sanity retention.

near to my partners parents.

Of course, this would help, too.

house is lovely.
I wouldn't do it, 45min commute I used to do was enough if it happened for a long enough period of time (two weeks) to break me. Brompton helped alleviate it, as did getting a seat and reading. But from the friends I have who've made the break to the shires, making friends in your locale is essential, as friendships with people in london, fade away because of the commitment to heading out to see them. Become special event friendships rather than everyday/weekly/monthly.

How much of a ballache would this be?

It'll be manageable. Humans can adapt to most things.

How big a change of life would this be?

Huge.

Your wife will need to learn to drive tout suite.

My commutes used to be 20min bike or 30-45min on public transport. Now it's 1hr to 1.30hr either motorbike or train (12min walk, 25-35min train, 5-25min tube, 5min walk).

I always miss my old London cycling commutes. But the Thameslink train into St Pancras/Farringdon is usually pretty good. And if I didn't have the tube at the end it wouldn't be as bad.

For us within 1 mile of a station was a must. Over that and your moving into driving territory and car park fees (and depending on the size of your car park fighting for a space). Also cycling from the station in that part of the world is different from London. It'll be 100% cunts.

umop3pisdnumop3pisdn makes a good point on transport changes tho. Mrs Hugo7 used to work near one of the London train stations and started around 9.30am. Consequencally her commute decreased from her London one as the train was only ever 25min max, always with a seat and just a 2min walk the other end.

If you're already on the property lader in Leytonstone and that's your budget I can't see why you would move out. But then that's me.

You won't see your friends much and bar the odd occasion they'll never come to you. But then once you have kids you won't see them anyway, so it doesn't matter and the train journey will give you some peace for a short while.

Not trying to sound like a dick, but what are you actually hoping to gain? Just living in a fancy house?

Having done this in March this year, both the wife and I are super happy with our choice. We were living in Bickley before and our commutes ranged from 45mins to 1h 20min.

In Royston, it's roughly 55mins to 1h 5mins.

Things to note:

1. I live less than 0.7 miles from the train station. Brompton makes that about 4 mins
   
2. I come into Kings Cross and work nr Great Portland Street. Brompton makes that about 5 mins
   
3. We're now only 30 mins from mine and my wifes parents along with siblings etc and some friends from where we grew up so we see them more than when we lived in London
   
4. Commuting cost has gone up considerably - annual season ticket (without tube) is £5k
   
   

I think you'd hate the train to house distance. You might want to look for something in a town like this.

This site is really fucking useful for looking at commute times in satellite areas.

I live in a village outside High Wycombe, I cycle 25 mins to the station, 30mins train to Marylebone, then 25 mins to the office. Same in reverse. On average I probably ride 4 days a week, then if it's pissing down with rain or I'm knackered I will drive to the station then get the tube.

Pros: I do like the cycling 90% of the time
Keeps me fit(ish)
Cheaper than driving & parking

Cons: there's no denying the time is a massive ballache. I leave the house at 6.20am and get back at either 18.45 or 19.15 depending which train I get. It can cause friction at home (although my wife wanted to move out here in the first place haha.)
Train costs £350 per month. I usually get a seat but I think that Chiltern are the exception speaking to my colleagues who commute on different lines

However, having said all this, I love living in the Chilterns, it is brilliant for the kids, my house is twice as big as my old house in London etc etc. If I could wfh 1 day a week (currently in negotiations) that would be perfect. For me the benefits do outweigh the negatives (just)

EDIT also don't use a Brompton a) they are crap to ride b) everyone on the train will hate you. I have two cheapo commute bikes that I leave at each end