I hate

The font/badge used on the Tesla

The font erks me generally on all Teslas. Seems so odd given the curated brand image in all other areas.

Other people's floaters.

That you see fit to specify "other people's" suggests you take a certain degree of satisfaction in yours. As such, it seems churlish to grumble about other people proudly leaving their best efforts on display.

You don't need to leave unflushed when you can send to hundreds of people in mere moments using WhatsApp.

It’s the only reason I have an Instagram account these days

The phrase 'Get in the Sea'

Halloween. A festival of greed and sugar for kids.

Having said that, I have just won a 5k race and beaten all the kids and fun runners.

The free 5k run bit of Halloween is alright

The phrase 'Get in the Sea'

said to other people's floaters ?

Lidl.
Find something nice to eat and you can bet your bottom dollar that it won't be there next time.
Or is the lack of day staff because they employ everyone overnight to re-arrange the shelves so I can't find anything?
Oh, and every time I shop there I hear an announcement that a till is closing.

I love Lidl and Aldi. Some of the range is temporary. The queue moves fast. Good wine these days.

Grocery retail is a race to the bottom because we all want everything cheaper. We’ve created this monster.

People riding hire bikes (normally electric) on pavements. Usually groups of tourists riding 4 abreast and chatting rather than looking where they're going.

when you ask people to reply all to emails and they don't

Cheap plated track cogs. Just opened my finger up screwing one on that had a big flake hanging off it.

Automated voicemail greetings that sound like a chummy man and woman having a back and forth with each other

Lidl.

Yeah, what a cunt.

Oh, wrong Lidl.

When people reply all and they don't need to.

Cheap plated track cogs. Just opened my finger up screwing one on that had a big flake hanging off it.

[edit: because the joke was that you were referring to yourself as a ‘big flake’ but then I couldn’t make it land and so I deleted it and then... and then...]

Pm me with details of joke - I’ll edit my post to accommodate ⚙️👈 🙃

Edit: added upside down smiley face to try and make it sound less snarky

Rugbyball - I was forced to watch it earlier in office by the resident Neanders - fuck me, it makes Foottheball look positively enthralling

try being from the colonies where it's presumed you've given a shit since birth.

Televised sport has ruined many an evening in the pub for me.

see now I can’t tell if I am being whooshed. Damned ‘typing-on-the-internet’ has done me again. D’oh.

try being from the colonies where it's presumed you've given a shit since birth.

Surely you were born with a Rugby ball? A man of your physique must play daily I thought.

The internet? I steer well clear of it, preferring the balmy shallows of London’s favourite fixie-bike forum.

it was mandatory at our cave-school. those socks didn't half chaffe our lily white racially superior calves.