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@yetidamo
I ride my cx and xc mtb clipped in off road, but for anything vaguely jumpy it's flats all day long. Jumping anything bigger clipped in scares the life out of me. Sometimes you just need to throw a leg out or dab to correct balance from a poor take off.
I had a friend who rode clipped for everything and when he had some skills training the tutor insisted it was being clipped that was causing his bad habits as he didn't need the correct technique to lift the back end of the bike. Sound familiar?
He went to flats (admittedly not down pleney for his first attempt) and like you he hated it. He hated it for 3 or 4 rides, but persisted, practicing jumping as much as he could, and now loves it and wouldn't go back. He's now riding blacks at BPW on his hardtail.
Maybe meet at Rogate one day as there's a nice run with several fun tabletops that can be sessioned?