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Yeah it does sound pretty partisan.
You seem to be conflating leaving the Union with remaining in the EU - it's the other way around leaving = leaving, remain = remain. Changing the status quo will always be harder and met with greater resistance.
The remain strategy was almost exactly the same - safer in the EU, safer in the Union (or project fear if you prefer). Yes the UK Govt effectively used its resources to push the Union, but it did the same in the for Brexit, and in IndyRef1 the Scottish Govt also did the same. Because it "worked before" is one of the reasons for a weak remain campaign.
The Indy side laid out pretty detailed plans for people to weigh up, so I don't think it's a stretch to say people were better informed.
Admittedly the result was fairly close 55.3% Vs. 44.7%, but importantly not only was it the highest turnout ever in the UK (84% vs 72%), it included 16&17yo.
Out of interest, do you have any basis for the Cambridge Analytica claim? The only things I've found are some rumours that they tried to pitch for business. So would be curious to read more.
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My favourite moment from the independence referendum is still this:
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The point is, if your outraged by the abuses of Vote Leave and the way the Tories have handled Brexit, you should ultimately be just as outraged by the way Better Together conducted themselves: much of it was anti democratic and even if it can't be proven that Cambridge Analytica was involved and contracted (the only reason we know what happened with Brexit is because of a whistle blower, and even then it's hardly been pursued by anyone other than a couple of journalists), it's known that they had meetings with them, and regardless of that they definitely broke purdah with campaign activities and their 'vow' of what would be a federalised arrangement for Scotland (that was published on the front page of all major newspapers in the days before the actual referendum) was immediately torn up a matter of hours after the referendum result.
Pointing to participation rates or turnout doesn't change any of that, and is a poor excuse for what amounts to some very shady and questionable behaviour by Cameron and the Unionist parties, and what you say about 'changing the status quo will always be harder' really isn't much of an explanation.
Not to be partisan or anything but I see the hand wringing over disregarding the brexit result and how it has to be respected etc and then folk interceding with "oh dirty tricks, population change, wasn't clear, etc..."
and then think of the IndyRef in 2014:
UK Gov used same dirty tricks VoteLeave did, indeed, possible Cambridge Analytica involved then too (nobody seems to care enough to press the issue)
UK Gov made same over blown promises Vote Leave did: indeed if you believe Cameron and Brown's "vow" Scotland would be a federal state now
But instead of the hand wringing and objections and protest we see over Brexit, what we got then is Cameron fresh from 'love bombing' Scotland with grade B celebs like Eddy 'I like to visit the Fringe and do a Scotch accent' Izzard using his post referendum speech to say the real lesson that the Scottish independence issue taught us is that England needs it's own parliament, and EVEL was coined instead of any of the promised reforms for devolution.
No objections from the UK electorate then, indeed, like Brexiteers most were content to crow "you lost get over it" at any objections to promises being broken or purdah being ignored... and we see where EVEL has taken us eh?
So yeah. A fair measure of hubris happening on all levels and I hope outraged Remain voters give pause to mull over how much thought they gave to it at the time. I just hope that at the end of it lies an Independent Scotland with EU membership so we can be free of all the archaic, dysfunctional and self serving elitist bullshit that the UK parliament is entrenched in.