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Honda Jazz for £500-£1000 mainly owned by old people or people with kids. The biggest engine was a 1.4 (I think) so they are in the lower road tax bracket. Will do 50-60mpg (petrol).
The back seats fold completely flat. So can fit many bikes in. A double mattress will fit when folded. Also a fridge freezer will fit.
There is storage under the seats when they are in the normal position.
Maintenance parts are cheap, second hand doors, mirrors etc are cheap on eBay. It’s a Honda so the engine will run forever.
Just as long as Amey wants to make my maintenance expenditure look incredibly reasonable - which is why I support this suggestion, and of course it's very pretty - important when you are likely to be stood looking at it whilst waiting for the AA for much of the time you had been planning on driving it.