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notoriousBMT
@i_am_lono
In pigeon-related mishaps, my folks were strolling through the very tourist-filled Princes Street Gardens in Edinburgh a few years ago when they came upon a quartet of crows trying to murder a pigeon. The pigeon was fucked, having been pecked near to death, the crows very blasé about my dad’s attempts to shoo them away, so my tiny dad - the sweetest man in the world but also a Highlander - decided the best course of action was to wade in and put the doo out of its misery by performing the ole chicken neck twist. Alas, the pigeon was so far gone that he succeeded not in humanely dispatching it but pulling its head clean from its neck, at which point a small child with his mum happened to walk past and just saw a small Scottish man tearing a bird’s head off while some crows danced around him. No-one was on a bike at the time.