Crap 'Buzzwords'

I think these days it actually is pretty much just that - we're certainly way past the point where kicking a tyre will tell you anything at all...

I’ve always thought of it more like this - it tell the seller more than the buyer.

Also don’t understand ‘revert’ - why not just say you’ll get back to me/ my boss?

Nope ... it means standing around, probably with a can of beer on, admiring your mate's new motor. Basically, nothing is happening except basking in the reflected glory of your chum's shiny new ride. Madame, looking out the window from the house, sees nothing but some blokes aimlessly chatting and kicking tyres. 'Where's my dad?' 'Oh, he's outside kicking tyres with Billy and Fred'.

In aircraft speak it does indeed mean checking the tyres are inflated. The rather flippant 'Kick the tyres and light the fires' means a quick walk round and let's get going. In truth pilots do a lot more than kick the tyres when they do their walk-round inspection.

You are all wrong, it was originally Cicza, Tyre, the centre - or hub, if you will - of Phoenician cartwheel craftsmanship in what is now Lebanon.

That makes the most sense. Obvious when you think about it.

I did wonder if it was a reference to that ill fated sporting event, the footyre World Cup which saw teams, similarly to football, aiming to punt a round object into a goal - this one being 2 dimensionally round rather having than the 3 dimensions of roundness that a ball enjoys. It was obviously doomed to fail and it was spectacularly shit and failed to make the case for its existence alongside the far superior football World Cup amongst others. In this context it could be used to refer to doing an activity that will go nowhere and do no one any good, but doing it none the less

Used to be used on telex where you were paying by the character - picked it up off my Dad from his days working in shipping.

the Aesthetics Director will need to be a strategic thinker who is able to communicate well both in words and images. The Aesthetics Director will also need to be prepared to be hands on, practical, highly adaptable and possess excellent interpersonal skills to enable them to succeed in a matrixed way of working

Only words and images. Not mime or flash mob? Not applying then.

it was a comfortingly by-the-numbers job spec until I got to “a matrixed way of working”.

Woeful.

Apparently we have to "maximise synergies" in my new role.

"Data lake"

Not a buzzword but what kind of maniac hyphenates “up-date”?

I-do

We have a datalake. It was a big buzz thing a couple of years ago and now appears to be up and running, with people using it. I still don't know what it is :(

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I’ve only just discovered this thread, and reading it makes want to head straight to the I Hate thread.

Years back I worked in BT, and saw it change from a state-owned monopoly to what was essentially a private one. They started picking up on Americanisms by the bucketload and it was amusing to watch old-skool types trying to get to grips with it. I wasn’t old school, but I remember losing my rag in a training day when they tried to introduce the phrase ‘dumping the shunt’. It just meant passing the buck, as I recall, and I stood up and ranted about what a load of cock it all was. I then tried to get ‘taking one for the team’ rebranded as ‘sleeping on the wet patch’, but it never caught on.

I quit not long after that and have been a mechanical engineer ever since. Thank fuck.

Wow. They seem pretty central to everything. I wonder how I've survived without a more intimate knowledge of them...

Talk track.

"what's your talk track for this afternoon?" = what do you intend to say?

Been rewatching The Thick of It.

Some of you guys whose works push these buzzwords should see if you can get some of Stuart Person's phrased uploaded to your thought mentors.

Y'all might enjoy these...

https://twitter.com/stateoflinkedin
https://twitter.com/craponlinkedin

fucking hell

New job appears to be on another level. In this meeting alone we've had all the usual bollocks along with 'plumbed in', 'ladder up', 'satellite session' and 'vision state'.

Shoot me.

‘polyvalent brand modelling’

thats nothing tbh