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  • It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift voucher worth £50.

    At the second house they presented him with an 18-carat gold watch.

    The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a woman wearing nothing but lingerie.
    She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she gave him the most passionate love he had ever experienced. Afterwards they went downstairs, where the woman fixed him a full cooked breakfast with freshly squeezed juice. She poured him a cup of coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a five pound note sticking out from under the cups bottom edge.
    "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the fiver for?"

    "Well," said the woman, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you and he said, "Fuck him. Give him five quid."”

    She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

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