I hate

I think the parties he goes to smell of feet

People who beep when they’re stuck waiting behind an Ocado van.

The Eurovision song contest

Smoking inside. Currently sat in a van in an alleyway in Rome to avoid being in a venue with roughly 100 chain smoking Italians.

I thought that was illegal now? You can't do it anywhere in Spain... Legally anyway...

You wouldn't know it tbh. I went to a couple of music events in Spain last year and sadly the most notable thing was how long it took to shift my passive smokers cough and get the smell out of my hair . Have noticed people smoking in restaurants too.

Eurgh. Mums standing just outside the gates of the pre-school my daughter goes to, smoking. Because clearly they’re that desperate they can’t wait till they’re round the corner.

i saw a book yesterday called "the flexible pescatarian"...

so it's for people that eat only fish and nothing but fish except when they... aren't?

also, "pescatarian" as a word makes my fucking skin itch.

Doesn’t it suggest someone who eats nothing but fish, too?

exactly!

you could get away with it if you were perhaps, a dolphin.

i blame the current trend for people needing to have some sort of bullshit descriptor to compensate for their lack of personality.

I'm not sure about Italy! A lot of venues I visit are of dubious legality anyway so a few people smoking inside is the least of their problems if the police want to give them any trouble.

I was having my lunch in a local park last week. Every parent with a child in the play park was on the perimeter head bowed looking at their phones. Zero interaction with their kids.

Those trees that smell like semen. Unavoidable at this time of year.

Are you sure it’s the trees? I haven’t experienced this

https://www.timeout.com/newyork/blog/does-it-like-totally-smell-like-semen-outside-or-is-that-just-me

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Sweet Chestnut. I got rid of one but still have a biggie in the corner. The air is thick with jism around here as they're very common.

Sweet Chestnut is fittingly euphemistic for a spunk tree

At least they’re not the same ones that jizz in your eyes when you’re out cycling this time of year.
If you came home with tree spunk burning your eyes and you smelled like you’d been the subject of a flora bukkake, I don’t think I’d leave the house

They can’t win, can they? Don’t let their kids play unsupervised with other kids and people complain. Let them do that and still people complain.

Every parent with a child in the play park was on the perimeter head bowed looking at their phones. Zero interaction with their kids.

The real problem here is if they aren't interacting with the other parents. They've been interacting with their kids for the last X hours of the day and Y hours of the night, probably, and both parent and kid are probably done with each other :) Nothing wrong with a bit of internet escapism.

He says, from the edge of the playground in the park

When a kid too young to swing itself on the swing is left dangling stationary because the adult is too engrossed in their phone, then that's wrong.
I hate kids as much as the next man but I used to give my own kids my undivided attention at the park, if that's what they wanted.

Parenting. No job has more responsibility yet it is done without training nor licence.

When parenting is referred to as a job :-)

Grown adults who use those suitcase on wheels. Carry your stuff people.