I hate

People who drive down the middle lane of the motorway when there's nothing on the left.

I rode down the M4 on Sunday (motorbike) and despite the road being packed, I swear I only saw 3 cars in the left lane on my whole journey.

Move over dickheads

That was my assumption at first but I went through the desks one evening (it's a hot desking situation so not going through anyone's private stuff) and only found 3 so it seems like people are taking them home. They're really crap quality so maybe it's just people absentmindedly throwing them in their Tupperware rather than intentionally grabbing them but that doesn't make it less annoying when you want to eat your pasta and have to settle for a spoon.

Non standard Sheffield stands...all too often designed by people who don't ride bikes who are more interested in 'aesthetics' than something that is built for purpose

I was involved in this in a job a few years ago and the sheer numbers that went missing suggested people chucking them by mistake rather than stealing them. Still really annoying.

The same was / is happening in my office too. I cannot imagine people actively stealing them, they're shitty forks anyway and who needs forks at home that desperately... However, I can imagine people accidentally chucking them as you suggest, or putting them somewhere and forgetting about them, etc.

Tell people to bring their own forks, whilst maintaining your own secret stash.

pitchforks!

There's a study on this (well, teaspoons). It doesn't help with the how they are disappearing, but goes into surprising detail as to the mechanics.

The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1322240/

Re the forks.

Here is a blog that might help you guys: https://www.google.com/amp/s/generallucifer.wordpress.com/2016/07/22/183-how-spoon-is-now/amp/

The forks just probably end up in people's lunch containers, they take them home to wash them, forget the fork's in there and they end up being the ones in their cutlery drawer that they avoid unless all the others are dirty.

"Probably"

In my case, that's the case.

For forks' sake...

People who surge-drive. That is to say, they can't make up their mind what speed to drive at and every 30 seconds or so are up and down on the throttle and are yo-yoing from 60-80mph. Bloody annoying when you just want to be in front or behind them and bloody excruciating if you are a passenger.

Forks: My wife takes them.
I ask her to give them back. Sorry

My new Hate:
So I read a Monbiot Tweet about people sat in their cars, engines running to keep their phones charged. I didn’t think it was such a common practice.
Picking my boy up from school and there are shitloads of bastards doing this....wankers chugging out diesel cancer gas at the school gates all to keep their phones charged. Fucking crazy. Let’s take the pollution out of the equation...do they think their car battery is going to empty if they charge a phone for 20 minutes? Would that happen? Is it worth burning a load of fuel just to play fucking candy crush?
Not sure how to address this....maybe hire a diesel generator put it on a skateboard, plug in a phone charger and drag that to the school gates. Leave that cunt running for half an hour while I place an acca on paddy power

I thought this was a nice idea
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/education-47448193/children-give-out-fake-parking-tickets-to-polluting-parents

I often do laps on a small circuit on my way home from work if I want to cram in a bit of training with little traffic and so I see this a lot. The amount of people who sit in their cars on their phone for >20mins is astonishing.

Councils have the power to impose actual fines for idling.

I used to be annoyed by this, then I got a car with fancy adaptive cruise control, now I just sit a second and a half behind them playing candy crush.

I got a car with fancy adaptive cruise control

My battery ran flat, and i lost ACC until I reset the system a few hours later.

Most harrowing driving that I've ever done.

Fully automated cars can't come soon enough.

The Tesla S I'm currently driving, pun intended, has autopilot. Utterly shit. It doesn't give cyclists as much room as it should. It won't register potholes and wants to stick rigidly to the centre of the lane. It's really quite stressful to use it even on motorways its answer to most things is to drop anchour and slam on the brakes. Certain overbridges on the M4 in bright sun cause it to see the shadow as something huge.

It doesn't give cyclists as much room as it should.

They don't pay road tax tho, and there was that one that ran a red light and nearly killed the baby jesus

Certain overbridges on the M4 in bright sun cause it to see the shadow as something huge.

I can see how that is shit. But on the plus side, better than the opposite where it sees the side of a huge semi as just some sky and barrels straight into the side of it. As far as I know, this has happened twice now in the US, killing the driver of at least one of the cars.

Certain overbridges on the M4 in bright sun cause it to see the shadow as something huge.

What happens in that situation? It slams on the brakes to a standstill in the middle of the motorway? Or eventually works it out and carries on without stopping?

It's bimbling along at 70 and drops very fucking quickly to about 45, then "thinks" silly me what was I thinking, and zooms back up to 70. Each time it has happened I haven't thought to check behind to see what carnage it's caused but I'm hoping it thought about following vehicles before it did it.

You're right of course.

Yeah. Stressful.