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  • When lovely little old ladies come to your door trying to sell you Jesus. There’s just no satisfaction to be had in being rude to them.

  • Years ago I perfected the art of hovering two inches above the door mat, slowly revolving my head through a full 360 while spouting gibberish and foaming at the mouth.
    Don't tend to get bothered these days - which is just as well as that sort of thing does take it out of you when you get to my age.

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