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  • The only thing we can be remotely sure of in this whole sorry mess is that Marina Hyde will be on point:

    There’s a photo from Pompeii that’s been doing the internet rounds a while, showing the plaster cast of a naked man. He appears to have died masturbating, even as he must have known the Vesuvian ash-cloud was approaching. Did he? Science says it’s a bit more complicated than that – but science isn’t important right now, because in every psychological aspect, that guy is the Conservative party.

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