Isen workshop: adventures in batch production (or not...)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about bikepacking bags, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in triathlon school, and I've been involved in numerous secret high street brand collaborations, and I have sown over 30.000 framebags myself, BY HAND. I am highly trained in bikepacking and I finished at least top five in some of the world's most demanding ultra-endurenace bikepacking races (number #1 in your local races probably). You are nothing to me but just another luddite who's stuck his head too far down their 30 year old brooks panniers. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting multiple of my artisinal framebuilder friends and your reputation is tanking right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call pannier bags. Panniers are fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can overtake you on my forward geometry titanium-carbon hardtail XC cruiser in over seven hundred ways, and that's not even with my hands on the handlebars (or wireless dropper installed). Not only am I extensively trained in multi-day adventure races, but I have access to an entire arsenal of bicycles all with custom framebags everywhere and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.