Cobblemonster 2019

Dave - as our chief negotiator ...... please can I ask you to let me know whether we will actually be able to go north of the river for this ride?

I can't see how you can confuse me with a chief negotiator

no similarity at all

Yes Jean-Dave I'm not sure who they are in the top photo but I do remember that blue flag in your office...

Cobblemonster newsflash....

As the fame of Babylon-don's most famous bike ride continues to spread across the globe, this is now attracting interest from cycling's professional teams.

We have just had news that Team Strong and Stable are going to be fielding a team.

Their top female rider is a natural leader.

She is no stranger to criterium races - yes people she has been round the block a few times....

Nothing will stop her from reaching the finish line, no matter what opposing riders put in her way.

Yes people all hail Team Strong and Stable. Look out for them around the course, their team kit is blue....
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Cobblemonster newsflash....

Following the announcement that Team Strong and Stable are going to be fielding an er ahem strong ( and stable ) team for Babylon-don's most famous bike ride..... We are pleased to announce that another professional team are to be entering the frame... yes it's Team Jez Wekan

Their top rider has byn on the scene for a long time.... an old school rider who has struggled to keep up with the changes in professional cycling. Sorry to labour the point, but he harks back to the glory days when the prize money was shared equally and there was only a national team.

His tactics in the peleton of late have been questioned as he veers from one side to the other, but he never struggles to gain momentum..

Here he addresses cycling fans at the team's headquarters in Cheshunt, though Islington is his usual training area.

Look out for Team Jez Wekan on the course. Their team strip is red....
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Cobblemonster marcomms department would like to apologise to anyone who finds the word
' overground ' offensive

Peace and love

Cobblemonster newsflash....
​
Following the announcement that Team Jez Wekan are fielding a team for Babylon- don's most famous bike ride.... Sad news... Some of Team Jez Wekan have decided to split from the team and form their own professional cycling team.

This affects us as Sarf Babylon-doners as local boy Chuka Ummuna has decided to split. He is part of the newest professional cycling team. As you can see below he is all pumped up for pastures new ...

We are delighted that Team 7 Eff -toff are going to be joining us on the ride. As I type I am not sure on their team strip - my sources tell me it is likely to be a lighter shade of red possibly with hints of blue... Look out for them on the ride...

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Cobblemonster cry for help ....

Greetings folks ..... The Cobblemonster marcomms department are struggling to keep up with the fast pace of events in professional cycling.... It really is all go.....

Team Strong and Stable seem to have lost three riders this week. However their top rider is still confident that she can recruit some more riders for Team Strong and Stable

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Team Jez Wekan seem to have lost more riders this week and their leader seems to be having a bit of a wobble

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Meanwhile watchers of professional cycling in the Westminster area are all looking at Team Green, if this cycling team lose a rider they are going to have to fold

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Meanwhile with all the uncertainty, the clock running down and no guarantee that we will be able to ride north over the Thames, the queues to get over Waterloo bridge are already forming as I type.

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With all of above, it is time to call on our chief negotiator...

Yes Jean-Dave Junck-obble, please can you save this s(h)ituation and rescue the ride... we are running out out time.... We hope you will listen...

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Cobblemonster Olive branch

Finally some good news to finish the week on.....

Chief negotiator Jean-Dave Junck-obble has heard our plight and has sprung into action.... He has managed to rush over here to see Babylon-don's Mayor - yes the only and only .... Tooting's finest son of a bus driver.... Sadiq - yes we -Khan .... for an urgent meeting.

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Contrary to all this animosity going around in cycling spread by the Peleton Research Group ( who always cycle on the very right hand side of the peleton) we are delighted to say that providing we can get the new historic proposed agreement passed the new power in professional cycling - yes Team Democratic Union of the Peleton , then the Cobblemonster ride will be going ahead...

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Oh...

An important announcement

This years Cobblemonster will be the last for the foreseeable future.

There are many reasons why we’ve made this decision and they are too long and too boring to go into here. All we know is it's better to go out somewhere near the top than drag things out. There might be something similar in the future, maybe from us or maybe someone new. Who knows, never say never and all that.

Don’t be sad – instead get ready for the last tango on the pave on April the 14th!

With this in mind we’re advising all riders to spread the word and shake out all those people you know who said they might fancy riding the Cobblemonster – this might be their last chance! If you know anyone interested get them to sign up on our website.

Given the occasion we’ll be offering up the classic route with a a few surprises and route twists. We’ll also be trying to bring you the best range of raffle prizes we’ve ever had for the post ride festivities at JAMM. And we’ll have Paris-Roubaix live on the big screen as usual.

Read that last night.
Makes me sad, london classic/cobblemonster was a nice throwback to a slightly more organised forum ride. All about the joy of riding with other cyclists, less about the charge to be first/fastest.

Always good to see forum bods out on this. Hope to see a massive turnout for the last one for the foreseeable..

i'm riding this year

Very sad. Glad to have done a few of these and will savour this last one.

best ride in town.
enjoyed every one i've done.

looking forward to this.

Always a brilliant ride.

Cobblemonster drug warning....

Greetings folks.....

There is a saying in Sarf Babylon-don that you are never more than 6 feet away from a drug dealer... They can be everywhere. Now with 'county lines ' operations these criminal networks spread far and wide. Like most enterprises, there is a sort of food chain. People sell things on the street, they get it from people who wholesale and then you go up the food chain to the ' Kingpins' ...

When you are out on the road, you need to be mindful that there is one Kingpin who runs things... His totally respectable outward face is a front for a more sinister side to his empire. Where drugs are concerned the Sky really is the limit... for the returns that can be made. This person can get anything you want delivered in a jiffy...

Take it easy on the streets people and as we used to say back in the day ' Just say no..... '

And for those who are middle class ' Just say no thank you... '

Peace and love....
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IN!

Cobblemonster team update newsflash

Greetings folks....... Plenty of news going on at the moment about what is going on in professional cycling....

Team Strong and Stable are considering a name change and possibly a new team leader. The Peleton Research Group are being hard to ‘deal’ with and the Democratic Union of the Peleton arlene-ing towards the same sort of tactics...

As if this wasn't enough for us cyclists to cope with ..... We need to keep you er ahem a-breast of other developments…. Yes news has come in that the Porn Peddlers Cycling Club has lost it's affiliation to British Cycling...

In excerpts or is that er ahem XXX-erts from a recent interview founder Chris Ratcliff said..."We are what we are and proud of what we do,"

Though my favorite quote, which almost made me go blind was ….

‘ We appreciate that porn isn't for everybody, so we don't shove it in people's faces ‘

So we are hoping that the PPCC will er ahem rise to the challenge of the lung-busting hills on the day.

Look out for them on the ride they are pictured below in all their ( thankfully clothed...) glory.

Peace and love….

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Let’s make the best ride ever across Babylon-don unforgettable this year.. so many good memories from years passed..

https://youtu.be/t7y7HpU9V_M

Cobblemonster spring classic news...

There comes a time in every great cyclist's career when they must head to Europe and tackle the spring classics. These races are very tough and certainly sort out who is going to do well in the peleton for the season ahead.

One such cyclist has just returned from absolutely er ahem hammer-ing it in Europe in the season's opening races ....

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Yes the top rider from Team Wide Awake really is looking a picture. Here they are pictured with a cyclist from Team Strong and Stable who is not doing so well in Europe or on the domestic cycling scene for that matter at the moment. Look out for Team Wide Awake at the Cobblemonster - they will be in Mapei- esque like team kit ......

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was great catching up with you at end of last years ride al. Hope to see a lot more faces there this year. Always a great ride this one.

And a great cause to boot