waterproof jackets

Anything similar to Rapha Commuter Jacket, but more affordable and available?

Altura Night Vision?

Getting waterproofs wet ruins them....

Read a piece this morning that said after three or four wears in the rain re-activate the waterproof membrane with a tumblr dry or warm the jacket with a hair dryer...

I don't think that true of all waterproof fabrics at least

It's not far off. Even gore-tex pro should be reproofed after ten wears in proper rain. Perhaps even sooner if worn with an abrasive backpack.

thats for DWR isnt it?

Yes. Sorry, my point is, all waterproofs will wet out if they're not reproofed at some point in time. E.g. none of them will bead water forever. Gore-Tex say:

If water repellency can no longer be reactivated by washing and drying you’ll need to reapply a durable water repellent (DWR). Be sure to always follow the manufacturer’s instructions for reapplication—and don’t forget to active it by following our instructions for tumble dry or ironing.

I'm sure there's some new fabric that will, however, stay waterproof forever without needing to be reproofed. In fact, there is. Gore-Tex Shakedry.

Ventile being 100% cotton and no coating should never need reproofing.
However it has been superseded by modern synthetic fabrics. Also it's waterproof ability isn't as good as it's mythology suggests.
You'd be better off with waxed cotton in my opinion.

Has anyone got experience with Metier jackets?

Fabsil is pretty awesome for reproofing jackets (and anything else) - it's intended for tents but works on a lot of fabrics. Buy a bottle, slap it on with a paintbrush (this is actually the recommended application method), dries in a couple of hours, and a nice fresh waterproof finish.