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amey
One time I was in a sandwich shop and I heard a man ask for "a panini". Of course, panini is plural - the singular being "panino" - so I grabbed a can of Monster out of the fridge and smashed it into his temple with all the force I could muster.
He hit the deck, so I jumped on top of him and began raining blows on his face, head, neck and chest - first with metal cutlery, then using one of the stainless steel dishes they keep sandwich fillings in behind the glass counter.
Within a couple of minutes he'd lost consciousness, happily.
All the customers and staff then stood up and clapped. "Truly, you are the king of words!" they cried, with tears streaming down their faces. A young mother gave me her baby to kiss, and a group of young men smashed up the blackboard that had "panini" written on it before taking £80 from the till and slashing the owner's throat with a San Pellegrino bottle.