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You can normally wash thin layers of filler of the wall, it depends on how well it's keyed to the surface and how hard you scrub it. What you are trying o do with shallow blemishes is the most difficult type of fix. Try a filler like Toupret TX110 as it's finer, sand the surface lightly to allow it to key or spot prime first. Paint usually protects the filler in these circumstances but it is more vulnerable to damage. Certainly the paint protects it against being brushed off by clothing. It does seem likely that you are mixing it too thin because it's a fairly coarse filler and you want a fine finish. Toupret also have a fine filler in a blue pot which is excellent for very fine surfaces but it is quite delicate until it's painted.
Is polyfilla just shit, or am I doing something wrong? I've got some of the powder stuff that I'm using to fill some shallow blemishes in a plastered wall. No matter how I mix and apply it, I can't get it to set any harder than, say, dry meringue. After 24 hours I sanded it and brushed the dust off to prep it for painting. When I gave it a final wipe with a damp rag, it just wiped huge amounts of it off. How is that meant to stand up to being touched, or can you only use it in areas where it will never ever be brushed by the clothing of someone passing?