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but id still like to avoid being kicked in the nuts
They're offering that today, by explicitly saying that a cancellation is still available. Other than that, we sent negotiators there for 18 months and waited until the end of the negotiations to kick up a fuss? I'd imagine that they quite reasonably think that should will stand by what they negotiated with us in good faith.
As for further concessions - I think that's probably what May et al thought they could bluff out of the EU. I think they've just had that bluff called.
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Oh I know they want us to stay. I think, given the polling, were the public given the choice, we probably would vote to stay. I think a peoples vote is more likely than not.
This is all just one big game of chicken. The 18 months of negotiation don't need to start again if you want to vary one or two areas slightly. You just keep negotiating...Now, the UK can say...look, this isn't going to fly so if you want this deal to work, we need a bit of movement in x and y. EU might say no, but they might think their interests are better served by a bit of concession.
I work close to the work on the EU Renewable Energy Directive. Negotiations tend to go down to the last minute, rather than being done and dusted weeks in advance.
The EU can probably see now that the deal as written has little hope of getting through UK Parliament. So they are in a bit of a sticky place themselves, as they won't be too keen on a no deal brexit either.
Would they consider some small further concessions, in the hope that it's enough to build some UK support to help avoid the no deal route. Their only other hope is for a GE/extension/peoples vote...
I'm under no illusion that a no deal brexit is tons worse for us than the EU, but id still like to avoid being kicked in the nuts even if the other guy was going to have his chopped off.