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Am I talking nonsense here?
No, you're quite right. In fact, if you want to bandy apparently impressive numbers based on an oversimplification, the total shear load on the rotor bolts is about 15 times that on the rim brake pad bolts. However, the question isn't "how big are the loads on the braking components?", it's "how big are the braking loads on the spokes?"
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Harder to say... however, spokes tend to fatigue much quicker on a rear wheel, mostly because that's the driving wheel, where the acceleration "happens" and it happens at the hub, where typically spokes fail. Front wheel spoke failures are much rarer, suggesting deceleration at the rim has very minor effects.
I suspect in a disc braked wheel deceleration at the hub will have the same effect as acceleration, this time both front and rear... actually more front than rear. So, it is not unreasonable to think that all else being equal, disc braked wheels' spokes are bound to last less and therefore the wheel needs some "overbuilding" as well as benefits from a non radial lacing pattern.
Isn't the force applied to a disc rotor greater than that applied to a rim?
If a wheel has to stop in say 1 turn, then that is roughly 2 metres long at the rim, but a lot less at the rotor, which means you need more friction at the rotor, hence more force...
Am I talking nonsense here?