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Also, if you want to get picky about it making sense the ban does not even apply to your mythical hosepipe creature. You can still use "hosepipes" because it's only their use to water your lawn, etc that is banned. There's not some squad coming around inspecting brew kits and removing lengths of "hosepipe". A "hosepipe" ban would prevent anyone filling their car with petrol. So it's still wrong.
Ok, so you hate the word. Not that it exists and that it actually makes sense. Fair enough.