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Quick google says you can get a Skoda Octavia Estate for ~£160 p/m.
£1k upfront + 24*£160 = £4,840
£5k over 2yrs is pretty tempting. As you wouldn't have any consumables and I assume road tax would be included in that.
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I recall at some point you analysed the impact of your Merc's roof rack on fuel consumption. I think I have the same Thule set up as you (wing bars and fork mount).
I don't have electronic mpg gauge and keep forgetting to measure it, and have lazily just left the rack on permanently. I often end up doing laps of the M25 and down the M3 and back - is this costing me enough to bother taking it off and finding space for it in my shed?
If you take yours on and off, how much of a faff is it? Can you loosen all the feet and remove it and reinstall it quite easily in one go? Or does it need de- and re-assembling?
I love my C55 but it has become another project car, and frankly one project car is the correct number.
I think that the car that sits outside on the drive/in the road should (from a convenience and cost management perspective) probably be something leased inexpensively with a comprehensive warranty and servicing package.
Just add electricity or petrol during the period of use.