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Nahguavkire
johnnyhotdog
TM
deleted
TheBonk
@user75204
Chapter 1
Its 3pm and dark in Rotherham. Its raining. Its always dark and raining in Rotherham.
Dick Stoodley P.I was sat in his battered grey Ford Mondeo on the corner of Soft Southern Latte Rd, it could be a long night, it was a stakeout.
It had already been a long old shift for Dick. His shirt was a diary of the day. Traces of egg McMuffin from breakfast, curry sauce and whiskey from lunch, and blood.
It wasn’t his blood. It was the blood of some Dame, found face down in a puddle at 2am that morning on the corner of Loser Street. Dick was there by 2.30am. Dick always came early.
Strangulation was the cause of the death. Poor broad. Didn’t look like she had much of a life. Dick knew from the holes her in her arms that it was her addiction that really killed her. Forced her down these dark alleys to do God knows what. Crying shame.
Someone needed to pay. Dick had no evidence but concluded it was totes obvs the Muslims fault.
Dick was in the mood for rearranging faces, but where were they? Hiding behind avatars and pseudonyms that’s where. Pussies. It boiled Dick’s piss, but that might be the STI he got from banging your missus last night.
Dick was mad. You wouldn’t like a mad Dick. Most people didn’t like Dick when he wasn’t mad. Dick was hard to like. Apart from those southerners, they loved Dick. They hammered that Dick so hard.
Chapter 2 - Dick Stoodley P.I. gets coat