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More practice needed then! I tried to sit on without pedalling and even that was too difficult. In my defence, the stoker's bars didn't seemed to be clamped in any way resulting in them twisting in that tube, and the basket was positioned horribly meaning that I couldn't jump on/off the back. So when we started rolling I would get stuck between the saddle and basket running along with my feet either side of the bike
frankenbike-
You should be starting with the stoker completely ready to go, providing 90% of the torque off the line. Captain must be happy with getting feet sorted while moving, especially clipless.
Best way to get your head around being a stoker is to be captained first by someone bigger (and uglier) who you trust. Their beef will reduce your impact but its the trust that's most important. Close your eyes/stare at their back, whatever you need to just sit there and let the captain balance the bike.
I can always tell when the better part of my team is spooked by my captaining because she can physically steer the bike just by involuntarily shifting her weight towards the kerb. This makes her invaluable to particularly slow/fast manoeuvring but that's next level.
hamrack
Yes. If the stoker doesn't want a fight, a small captain can easily handle a large stoker. If the stoker is trying to steer the bike, even a substantial strength and weight advantage on the part of the captain is not enough