eBay and Craigslist finds

I'd say dodgy.

https://www.gumtree.com/profile/accounts/dc0d6bc4f9eea20321e4975b07fbd99e?review=true

Guy is selling a lot of bikes

Calls only on 07xxx or WhatsApp pick up only outside CR26JP suth Croydon

any issue with this fight is the back will the heart needs tightening put the bear is the kind of Lewis other than that the boss who were both in the world everything‘s original morning but the tires as he had race the tires on it before which I didn’t like so I put Hybrid guy is on it rather than that’s pretty large by don’t really want to get rid of the Apollo have no a stable

Attempted translation:

only issue with this bike is the back wheel, the hub (?) needs tightening up, the bearings are kind of loose, other than that the bottles ??????????. Everything's original ? but the tyres, as "he" had race tyres on it before which I didn't like, so I put hybrid tyres on it rather than that. Pretty large but ????????

I wonder if the seller is illiterate and dictates the ads into a phone, then has absolutely no ability to check that it's been transcribed properly? Because there's some weird homophone stuff going on (e.g. "Lewis" and "loose", "guy is" and "tyres", "will" and "wheel") and he says "calls only". Or maybe they're just mentally ill in some way (that's not me being flippant about mental illness)