Audax rides

Just an update on BGB this weekend and a bit of a brain dump for my first Audax.
So two of the three of us planning to ride it made it to the start. Only 50% of those signed up showed up to start. Not sure what the usual rate is but the weather, I’d guess mainly the wind clearly put a few off.
I had less than ideal preparation having had a cold and still with a cough for a few weeks. We also missed rolling out with the group which was a bit of a rookie mistake.
I found the first hour or two quite tough mentally as both my parents had been messaging me telling me to take care etc. This made me quite tense, added to an imminent new arrival at the end of November was another factor here and it took me this time to calm down and realise it was just another ride. The route however was very quiet and I felt safe and I settled well after this.
The wind was a factor during the night making it cold and affecting average speed. I actually felt quite good generally, my low point came near Moffat a puncture and hit a bit of a wall for half an hour or so.
We made Glasgow in just over 18 hours. It felt unrealistic and not within my expectation that we could make it back within the time controls, with such little resting time available, so we agreed to scratch at half way.
I feel pretty disappointed, it’s the first failure I’ve had since being back on the bike. It will make PBP hard, if not impossible to get in to now but overall I learnt a lot. Kit choices were good, I definitely want a dynamo though. I think the main thing was what affected me mentally and working out how to address those things for future events in terms of sleep expectations and sense of safety.
I met some nice people and learnt a lot about myself so by no means a bad experience and a big thanks to my riding buddy.