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100% reliable and doesn't need to be thought about.
Buying 2nd hand is always unknown, but I can't think of that many people I know who've had serious problems with their modern cars. A friends 5-series had a total engine failure that BMW paid for and my mum's A3 (new) had never ending electrical problems. But other than that most seem to have been find.
My uncle ran a 200k Corolla without issue. So how bad is a 30-40k 2010 Honda going to be?
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There's a good argument for buying FSH Japanese if you want reliability on a second-hand...
Personally I wouldn't touch any of the more low end/ economy models from German manufacturers if that's your priority, they're often little better than disposable as the manufacturers are building them knowing the first owner will only keep it for two years and then buy another one.
Yes and no I'd say - I bought the 996 in 2016, and it's cost me £1,842/month if I break that down.
But wait! I have an asset that has value as part of that, and it was recently valued at £20,000, so if we believe for one second that that is true the figure falls to £1,008/month.
If I were now to go to the fairly standard minor/major service pattern for the next few years that monthly cost would tail off significantly - it's perfectly possible that my total expenditure in the next twelve months (excluding fuel/VED/insurance) would be circa £300.
It won't be, because of the new engine, but lets leave that out of things for now.
Anyway - over the period that I've had the car I think it's basically equal between what I've spent and what it would have cost to lease a 991. But I don't (and did not) want a 991.
The C55 would be a better comparison, which I bought for ~£12,000 IIRC and have then spent ~£4,000 on. Right now it's very expensive on a £/month basis as it's fairly new, but I'd expect it to go onto routine maintenance for 2019 as I've fixed most things now.
All that to one side, there have been long periods when I've been without one of my cars, and that's what I suspect you can't afford, especially with small children - for you, a lease I think would likely make more sense. You want something that's 100% reliable and doesn't need to be thought about.