Cricket

Chris Woakes you beautiful man

Woakes wouldn’t thump someone at a nightclub would he?

In bed by 11pm I reckon. Couple of pints but no silliness. No tattoos. Nice lad.

Greenbank: did you have £50 on your so far immaculate predictions?

Had a mate bail last minute so I've got a spare ticket for today if anyone fancies it?

Sadly not, but I'm looking like an utter genius amongst friends and family.

1) I do not want to think of an England side where Jimmy Anderson is not involved

2) That six from Curran was fucking ridiculous

1) I do not want to think of an England side where Jimmy Anderson is not involved

2) That six from Curran was fucking ridiculous

Jimmy is so much more than we deserve.

Hey smartarse, you missed 'declare at around 400', false prophet!

Ouch.
Congrats @Greenbank, what would be your preferred location of shrine?

A quiet corner of the Long Room would be appropriate. Greenbank, kindly give your predictions immediately after the next toss, there are betting apps with incredibly irritating advertising which desperately need bankrupting. I remain in awe....

Best thing about this is post-shower Rashid at the back after his heroic efforts

Re @Greenbank's oracle like prediction post: I love the modesty of the final #delusion tag. Such humble, so bang ons.

If only my wife and I had put our MCC membership applications in when we first talked about it, we would be members by now. Now the waiting list is ~25 years.

And the benefits besides test match priority and wearing bacon and egg stuff?

Not ever having to worry about getting tickets.

(Although as my FiL and BiL are both members we can generally get hold of whatever tickets we want but we do have to give many months notice. Therein lies the problem. For a test match we're only likely to go to one of the days [as much as our 8yo loves cricket she might rebel at multiple days there] so we have to pick our day. Luckily we'd picked Saturday for this test rather than the Thursday. £110pp is a lot, especially if you don't get anywhere near 90 overs.)

‘Let’s have a nice night out. Under no circumstances should anyone let Stokesey know where we’re going.’

Thankfully mum paid for this years visit, but I dread to think of how much it'll be next summer for an Ashes test. I've started looking at prices ahead of next year, alongside World Cup tickets I'm going to be fucking skint

if you want tickets for Lord's being a Middlesex CCC member gives you some kind of priority, though you might have to sit in the Warner stand...

So Stokes is found not guilty of all charges...

I assume that means he comes straight back into the team for the Southampton test. Harsh on whoever has to drop out, do they drop a batsman (Pope?) or a bowler (Woakes? Broad?!)

Is our legal system fucked or stupid?

I was convinced he was getting jail time, until someone at Lords on Saturday reminded me that it's just affray, and there's no way he was going down. Even if found guilty, he'd never have got much more than a telling off due to sentencing guidelines. Different story if GBH/ABH, but he was never doing bird.

Is our legal system fucked or stupid?

Beyond reasonable doubt.

I assume everyone on Twitter has chimed in with their explicit legal knowledge and absolute disgust for a ginger Geordie via New Zealand.

I would be surprised if he gets selected for the next test. He needs to take a step back and see he can't act like a twat and every thing will be ok. Also ECB can be quite harsh when the game is brought in to the gutter.