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Had to poke her out with a broom
Vacuum cleaner ftw. My neighbour's cats used to sneak into my house and hide under the bed - terrified me as I was often away for weeks at a time and didn't want to come back to a mummified cat. The knowledge that, if they hid there, the big roaring monster was coming after them (with a hoover), made a big difference.
Wow, that sounds utterly horrendous. My much much milder version of the same process just involved the kitten which I had put in a separate carrier first yelling in distress and clawing the carrier grill trying to get out. Made my very soft heart sink.
I also lamented our choice of size for our new bed. A cat sat at the center point of the underside of a super king cannot be reached by normal length limbs. Had to poke her out with a broom.
I'm so glad I had no pee/poo/curtain blend to contend with.