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Hovis
Hold her by the scruff only, never lift her by it. Holding won't hurt her, but lifting will, and it can injure her.
(ETA): fwiw i don't scruff adult cats as I've never found it necessary and it can scare them. If you can catch her without doing it, you should - it's a bit of a grabby manoeuvre.
I agree with Soul - you should get her seen to now. Cats can't store reserves like we can, and if they stop eating they can very rapidly develop hepatic lipidosis which is a legit medical emergency.
You've not screwed up! You're doing the right things. Next time when you wrap her in the towel, try to get her into a purrito configuration, which should stop her scrabbling at the sides of the carrier as you're putting her in ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QanBYpoh-0
You can do this!