I hate

Latex tubs, yes I know they ride great, but how much air do these things need. Do they still make condoms out of this stuff? Everytime I go to my second bike I have to pump the things up. Then when I'm out I get all paranoid about how much air they might be seeping. I always remember a chat with a forensic mate of mine that said don't kill someone while wearing latex gloves as your sweat can pass through them and leave fingerprints, so there's my top tip of the day, and apple juice stops your fruit going brown in a fresh fruit salad.

Latex tubes need daily pumping. Can’t imagine tubs are much different.

Yes I know. I canny change the laws of physics as Scotty would say. I'd swap to a plain vanilla tub, but the front one appears to be attached with kryptonite and in this heat looks like way too much sweating.

I am sick of the sight of fucking hand-painted stones left in various nooks and crannies wherever I go.

I simply take mine off and direct it in their eyes as we pass like a photon joust...

Generally gets the message through.

AlexD

i have to go round to my mother in laws about once a fortnight because her heatings 'on the blink'. Invariably she's just changed all the rads despite me constantly telling her to just use the thermostat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDG8jTJ9698

how i still dont have full and effortless mastery over the physical world

Still? What have you been doing with your life?

...the gnarly semi-rotten old apple tree in our garden. I have therefore attacked it with a chainsaw.

Seagulls! The ultimate scum of the skies.

Other birds actually come out with some delicate tune, an a tempt to woo another bird, interact with nature. It's something nice to wake up to, eat toast in the garden to.

Seagulls make the same fucking (loud) noise 24 hours a day, all fucking day. They go through rubbish, steal your lunch and if they shit on your car its pretty much a write off!

Oh and people who wait to cross the road but never press the button to stop the lights.

In that case you may as well cross anywhere at all.

Maybe they can see there's a gap in traffic and therefore no need to press the button? Basically doing you a favour.

In that case you may as well cross anywhere at all.

If you feel it is safe to do so you may as well.

Gulls don't make the same noise constantly to be fair; if they're close together hunting for food they will just take turns chattering away in a much lower tone as if they're having a conversation.
Used to like waking up in Aberystwyth to their calls and watching them dancing on the grass looking for worms. This guy seems to have got one to do it on cue though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-6l-905zD0

In my angered haste I should have said when they are at the crossing, with traffic, with the ability to stop it by pressing the button but don't. I would also do as you say if it was only a few cars to keep the flow.

Haaa, should get this guy in a metal band, straight on the double bass pedal! I really do hate them though. Probably doesn't help that I live above a restaurant and they sit out side my window and squawk till 3am. It's dark out side because everyone is asleep, take the hint!

“After you”
“No, after you”
“No, I insist!”
And so-on

The car bodyshop I work out of has Radio 2 playing most of the time. What I hate most is the mechanics seem to try and beat each other to sing the lyrics first. Therefore they're at least half a beat, or more, ahead of the actual song. Cunts (traditional post ending).

Just people singing along to stuff. And people who watch comedy shows they’ve seen before and parrot all the jokes. I have a mate who will just say the funny lines from stuff like partridge etc, but just before it’s about to come up. Infuriating.

singing along in the style of alan partridge can be amusing. in the comfort of one's own home of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJbjAwvRWLs

Cucumbers... Why the fuck do companies think that's its ok to ruin a sandwich with them!

Especially when they chop them up into little bits so you can't see them till its to late and your mouth is filled with foul tasting water. If i wanted that experience I'd drink from the tap.

nowt wrong with tap water you great big blouse

I hate cucumber and any colour of bell pepper.

@velocio has a hatred of cucumbers 🥒 too

I do not.

I like a good cucumber.