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I really don't understand your thinking. 'Party over country'? They need to keep the party together to get elected, for the good (as they see it) of the country. 'Opposing was possible'? They opposed what May did from the word 'go', e.g. saying they would immediately guarantee the rights of EU citizens, opposed a 'Tory Brexit', etc.
There may well come a time when Labour can adopt a position on the single market, but I, too, don't think that time has yet come.
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I would see agreeing with starting a process without any insight on what it will entail and all the warning signs that it will not be good is a bad thing to do. The excuse that they don't know until negotations doesn't work for me, as there wasn't even a clear outline to put to the EU. No whitepapers, no nothing.
But, we are going to probably agree to disagree there, that's fine.
As for keeping your party to help the country, I don't see standing by and not coming up with a credible alternative and cherrypicking to keep your own party together as honourable, but again, others will disagree.
Labour has a SM position from how I read the tealeaves, they want all the benefits it has but exclude freedom of movement. But they didn't actually call it the SM because that would indeed suggest a clear position, atm there is still a lot vagueness which I can only interpret as cherry picking/faffing about to keep things calm and wait for the Tories to mess up.
I think I am just massively disappointed in Labour, but if they turn around I'll be very pleased. I am not going to dislike the party forever on this if they turn around. But that is a big IF atm.
Yes they kept the emotional temperature down. But you could argue too that this is party over country.
But they also backed something that was instantly clear to be very harmful to their voters as May proposed a rock hard Brexit [fnar], so on principle opposing was possible.
Best hope is that the momentum vote proposal on the SM happens, Labour fully backs this (w/o the nativism cakeism of 3/4 freedoms Corbyn is proposing atm no FOM) and elections follow. If Labour backs a vote it will change my opinion on them as it shows they are willing to listen to their members, which is quite important to me, I think democracy is not some sort of "oh every so often we ask you one thing/hold one election".
Tory party just does whatever atm!