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Anyway i’ll try one more time to split the postage and just leave it if he ignores me again
This is the right answer unfortunately. I presume you agreed to collect from the Daughter and the seller felt the deal to be closed, then later you realised that the arrangement with the postage fee wasn't quite what you expected? Lesson learned, get the terms sorted up front before agreeing anything. Nerging the seller in this case is petty unless the item is not as described and they won't sort it out.
I messaged Ebay to check what their policy is and he isn’t obliged to refund me, but agreed that a partial refund would be the right thing to do. Anyway i’ll try one more time to split the postage and just leave it if he ignores me again