I hate

Good luck! It's one of "those jobs" for sure in cycle land...

Christ... Colnago steerers tight or what, plus 26.4 bars in a 26 stem, bit of a bitch to remove - thanks prior owner. Criterium bars aren't my favourite drops, so a couple of battle scars underneath the sleeve section now. Definitely made the "I hate" list. Even getting the stem out of the fork column was a nightmare.

International League of Bog Terrorists.
Like the Freemasons they infiltrate every level of society

Did you try the "jam a coin under the screw, push against coin to open clamp" trick? Yes, I am late to that, sorry didn't think about it yesterday!

Was the only way I could get stuff through an old cinelli stem.

Sounds like you caught it all in time, oversize bar cracking and a stuck stem were on the cards. "thanks" indeed previous owner :)

At work, we have "half a bog roll man" (sorry it's always the men's here...not saying the ladies can't be bad, but not here) and "the phantom shitter"

My dad has the same characters thousands of miles away. As you say, truly an international phenomenon.

That trick plus loads of grease to minimise scratches has always worked well for me. Currently have one of those 3ttt stems on the track bike, with the extra little grub screws that opens up the clamp a little. I'm surprised it's not a more common feature.

My old work had a (female) phantom shitter.
Would turd on the seat and leave it.
Sometimes the floor.
It got so bad that they had to lock the ladies toilet and sign for a key to use it.
Madness.

Pantomimes. Brainless, predictable, flouncy, sh-poo. As a child I thought it was an insult to my intelligence (mediocre, by the way) and my opinion is no different now. I was dragged kicking and screaming to one when I was 8 and spent the entire performance praying that an usherette or some such would wander over and offer me some red hot pins so I could stick them in my eyes for a bit of light relief.

You hate Panto?
Oh no you don’t.

https://hackneyempire.co.uk/whats-on/aladdin/

Oh well, it's behind you now...oh no it isn't!

Kickboards

Garlic Presses

I'm with you on the garlic presses

Use a knife or a microplane grater ffs

Garlic presses are okay as long as you just throw them away and buy a new one instead of trying to clean them

This fucking shit

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Supreme-Rimowa-Topas-Multiwheel-45L-Cabin-Black-suitcase/273169597497?hash=item3f9a2d4439:g:sJgAAOSwKFpa2fNv

Take a classic piece of functional equipment, spray it black and stick some shitty logo on it, boom, two grand, FUCK OFF

Odeon. The cheeky fuckers have added 2 quid to the price of a standard ticket for the "privilege" of gracing one of their seats with my arse to see the new Avengers flick. Did I say they are fuckers? Fuckers

People on canal towpaths who, despite my cheery 'excuse me, just passing on your right', my ridiculously loud freewheel, my cheery 'thank you!' and my smile and wave, still insist on some fucking quip about my lack of a bell.

FUCK OFF.

Fiat 500 drivers. Aren’t I whimsical and so now?, even though for the most part they are girls that are completely up themselves and a bit vain, or horribly spoilt by mummy and daddy. Driving about in a car that might as well have a neon sign on the roof with I’m young with a vagina - or indeed old and completely dotty. They also drive like they should stick to one of these… ( I should add as a disclaimer there might well be some perfectly nice drivers of both sexes in the interests of balance)

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Hmmm.

People that order fussy coffees it takes the coffee making man about 2-3 minutes to make. Get a black one and smash milk and sugar to taste you painfully self regarding ninnies, the rest of us have places to be.

Vanilla mocha decaf latte with half soya half / oat milk and cinnamon and nutmeg?

Flat white with oatly pls

If you’re ordering coffee with a ton of other stuff thrown in to it to make it taste different, you have to ask yourself: am I ordering the right drink. Also: am I actually an adult?

arseholes.

Larry David ordering a coffee

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rBNOB7FkSSM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08NkaqoOELg