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  • Pantomimes. Brainless, predictable, flouncy, sh-poo. As a child I thought it was an insult to my intelligence (mediocre, by the way) and my opinion is no different now. I was dragged kicking and screaming to one when I was 8 and spent the entire performance praying that an usherette or some such would wander over and offer me some red hot pins so I could stick them in my eyes for a bit of light relief.

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