I hate

One thing guaranteed to get me into a flailing, crying rage is repeated dishwasher tray derailment. *kicks fucking thing

I don't mind being called mate by strangers but "buddy" pisses me right off. It reminds me of Napoleon in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Cunts who ring you back because you've rung them and left a voice message but they haven't bothered to listen to the message.

Cunts who leave answer phone messages. Did your fax machine break?

;-)

Telex please.

People at 9am/5pm who crowd outside the lift before the doors open when you obviously know there will be people waiting to get out. Why?

When I quit work seven years ago, to be a full-time child wrangler, I turned off my voicemail service.

It is never coming back.

My dad is pretty much the only one who leaves me messages actually. He’ll tell me he called and say what time and date it is. No matter how many times I ask him not to and tell him that my phone tells me all those things anyway.

I’ve just turned my answer phone off just now - no idea why I didn’t do it ages ago.

Well done. Welcome to bliss.

It's also funny when you let it ring out to see how long people will hang on for! Ha.

This feels like when I left Facebook, but if my only Facebook friend was my dad.

Gahhhhhh people who leave voicemails. You've got my number send me a text ffs.

The offices of my first (so called) career job had a room with 2 telex machines, and not much else.
Looking back they seem like something Terry Gilliam designed for Brazil.

Have you been to the Home Office in Croydon? Clearly the inspiration for Terry Gilliam's Brazil

In my defence.
I had a courtesy car to deliver to Enfield and a damaged car to bring back to sunny Slough. I needed to know that the owner was going to be there or it would be a wasted trip. I left a message the first time and rang three more times over the following 30 minutes but didn't leave messages. The last call was answered by the chap who said the phone had rung off before he got to it on ALL of the previous occasions. Not once did the twat think of listening to the message or even bothering his arse to ring back. This happens everyday - people are cunts.

People, (men, nee cunts) who refer to powered vehicles, be they cars or bikes trucks etc as she or her.

It gives me the creeps.

How about ol' gal?

I like one of their songs. I feel much better about not paying for it now, the cunt.

Wait until after Brexit.

You're probably not surprised to know there's already a thread on that:
https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/307308/

Give quiche a chance.

I wear sunglasses on the Tube to avoid germ particles from all the sick zombie cunts that normally use the Tube - eyes are apparently super receptive to germs. They see me rollin'...

Sorry bud

I watched that the other week.

#csb

I think if you're anthropomorphising cars, bikes (including bicycles) in that creepy sexual/possessive way it says something dubious about how you view vehicles and women

I like one of their songs.

Oh - which one ?