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@russmeyer
All's well that ends (not yet, admittedly) well. We were not too far from my mum's, the car's at the nearest Volvo garage (with mixed warning lights aglow), there was a bottle of bourbon in a cupboard here. Car rental tried to give us a volvo v40 which wouldn't have been great with 4 people + roof box + 3 suitcases so stood my ground and got a mini van in the end. Now off to bed.