Epic fail

Bugger, heel* up quick.
This is why leather soled shoes are exclusively owned by people with cars and heated garages in this part of the world.

*wups, freudian slip**

**wups

Oof! Hopefully nothing too serious. Kind of wish I saw it though. Sounds hilarious.

heal up hope its not too bad. feet up and a cuppa in the new gaff

in a&e with a fuxxored hip

Oh dear. At your age.

Have you done your will?

Get well soon, shout if you need grapes or anything?

Heal up big man. On the plus side house move already done. I'll add my name to @mashton 's to offer help. Fire up the bat signal...

Grapes of wrath?

a woman walking her dogs ignored me. that hurt the most.

Well, you do look a bit funny looking. And forrin.

Look, it's @snowy_again.

Boom Tish.

aw you guys.

it's not that bad. teeny weeny fracture and tissue damage. fuck all they can do really.

the NHS is bloody marvellous tho.

#votelabour

teeny weeny fracture

Have you considered a wicker coffin? They are very nice.

Not even a snicker?

Also, heal up before you visit! We've got all kinds of extreme things planned. Like sitting in the pub. Walking to the pub. Going to a different pub...

/training montage intensifies

Even a small fall can be dangerous at your age. Make sure they organise a visitor to come and turn you over etc.

christ on a bike etc

https://imgur.com/gallery/8VEbq

This....this is excellent

*assuming it’s only statue who is significantly injured

That top comment tho.

Popped up on Twitter again, always worth a repost.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrWaSXT2Cwg

https://twitter.com/lardychap/status/970353841878323203

Just me that thinks this sounds like a haemorrhoid treatment?

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It is. You should give it a go on your bib shorts chamois. It's brilliant...

Is there a spicy version?

just because it looks like a plucked chicken down there doesn't mean you should rub marinade on it.

But also no reason not to try.