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@ExTra
Cheers guys for the advice. Operation get rid of upstairs cat is now in full swing. Patch was worried to go out today and used the little tray again. She'd stopped using thte tray since I changed back to her usual type of litter. She was digging digging and digging forever more, clearly a stressed cat.
Re: the leaving her alone, I think I can bribe my friends to move in a day earlier... we will see, if not, it'd now only be a full day or less, so... she should be fine, she is a fully grown adult now!!!