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Aroogah
Good morning all,
Let me apologise for yesterday - I said I would respond in full, but life got in the way. As a bit of background information, I've been on codeine for years; firstly for when they cut my right atrium out, and more recently when they removed my right lat dorsi in 2015. Both surgeries left me in habitual discomfort, but the ramping up in tumour sites over the last six months meant that I was popping too much. As a result I started to suffer from gastro stuff, which meant that a move to slow-release morphine was the best and most practical solution. However, my head was writing cheques my body refused to cash, and this resulted in me nearly puking, and tearing the door of my meds cupboard like a fat kid looking for eclairs....
I'm still a little foggy from the last few days, and all that has happened. I'm slowly trying to contact folk from here, STW and FB, in order to thank them for their kindness and generosity. Even as I write this last sentence, I'm unable to express my feelings about what has happened adequately - I feel lost in my attempts to fully describe the impact of what we as a family have received in terms of financial and emotional support from you all. My kids have been puzzled at watching their dad check his phone, walk into the kitchen, and bawl loudly as a result. This continues when they ask me if I'm sad, and I explain that I'm actually incredibly happy. But then, how on earth do you transfer this information to two young kids; that the response of strangers has resulted in the person that protects them maybe having an outside chance to continue doing so? I take the easy option, giving them Chupa-chups and bunging Paw Patrol on the telly instead, as life is tough enough at the moment.
And yet, look at what has happened to my family and I over the last 36 hours. None of you will ever have an inkling as to how important your £5, £10, £25 or £K's (unfuckingbelieveably!!) are to me, my wife and our children. Yes, the money offers the opportunity to access something that has a better chance of keeping me here. But more importantly, to know you have value, and that there are folk in society that value a total strangers life over a beer, socialising, bike parts, holidays, a new fucking car, etc, is the catalyst for staying here. Nine years ago I was given less than a year to live. The response from people, friends and strangers inclusive, was the thing that convinced me I wanted to stay here. I wasn't wrong then, and I'm not wrong now - and that is down to you all.
Thank you. I give you my word, I'll carry on fucking cancer in the head with a brick for the foreseeable future.
Bullheart x