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a decent tension meter like sapim or DT swiss. The sapim guage is £560 and the DT Swiss guage is £400. These guages come with there own spoke calibration chart and while a sapim race and DT comp are close if you use both gauges on the same spokes and refer to each other tension chart you get different tensions (less than 100N difference) not enough to cause a major problem. not sure if the sapim guage chart or the DT Swiss chart is wrong as I can create my own with my own load cell and get something a bit different not by much though. The DT Gauge does not CX-ray or the pillar 1422 spokes on the NDS rear. I dont know if it shows a reading for the aerolite nds rear maybe not which makes it a bit pointless as your back to tone.
The park TM-1 is no better than tone useful if your deaf I suppose but it is not marked as a aid to deaf wheel builders. parks calibration chart does not match any other.
cycleclinic-
99% of people don't need their wheels to have exactly the right tension. I've never aimed for a certain tension in wheels, but I use a Park Tools TM-1 to make sure the tensions are even, for doing this it is a good tool. Citation: ive built 20+ wheels for myself and others and never had a spoke break. No need to knock the TM1 to try and justify spending 400+ on a tension meter
Turkish
Spoke weight is generally quoted at the shortest length they offer, for obvious reasons. Personally I'd just go for 32h but if they're built right 28H could/should be fine for 80kg.
ACI Alpina are currently the cheapest double butted you can order in the UK. You won't see much of an improvement spending more on fancier spokes than those.
With regards to wheel building, get a decent tension meter and do a lot of research before building. No reason you couldnt build a bombproof pair of wheels on little experience. The key is just taking your time and continually adjusting until all the tensions are even, the wheel is true and round. This might take up a whole afternoon per wheel so paying someone like Arup ~£20ish per wheel to do this for you could be economical. Having verniers to measure up the hubs and rims is also crucial