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  • My barber did my nose without asking recently. I died a little. Actually, a lot.

  • I went to a Turkish barber and he set fire to my ears... he could have warned me! I was in another place and a little kid asked his dad what the barber was doing as he trimmed my eyebrows. I said it happens as you get older. He burst into tears and said Noooooo! to his dad, I thought, I know how you feel son.

  • Next time, you'll be disappointed if he doesn't do it. That's the real middle-aged stuff.

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