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@frankenbike
A well-trained dog doesn't bark. It's very easy to train your dog to bark accidentally by responding to it when it makes a lot of noise. The dog learns that if he barks he's going to get attention from you. If the owner is aware of this and doesn't reward the dog for barking then it will very rarely make any noise (only if it's in pain, extremely scared, etc.).
Secondly, a well-trained dog shouldn't jump at people, because as you say it can be intimidating. People think it's cute when the dog's a puppy and so again the dog learns that jumping up at people gets attention. By the time it grows into a full-size dog it's scary but the dog has learned to do it and the (bad) owner just thinks "oh, that's just what my dog likes to do", unaware that they failed to train it not to jump.
Thirdly a dog doesn't need 24/7 care. Would you want to be surrounded by people 24/7? Or do you prefer a bit of alone time on occasion?
Fourthly I disagree that you need to "consent" to interact with a dog. I don't consent to chuggers harassing me, but that's just how things are. If you're walking around in a modern city you're going to encounter dogs and have to "interact" with them. (Of course, the dog shouldn't touch you without you signalling to it or stroking it. And you obviously are within your rights to say "please keep that dog away from me" to the owner. And the dog, being well-trained, should listen to its owner and stay away from you.)
Fifthly, I don't agree that we should let dogs die without operations. Do you say the same about old people or people with disabilities? The dog doesn't have the ability to express itself and so the only humane thing to do is to assume that it wants to live. It can't exactly sign a DNR, can it?
Regarding dog shit; how come you aren't wearing a sign informing me that you wipe your own arse or the arses of your children?
I think you are selfish for wanting to impose your own weird set of fears on the whole of society. There are people out there who are afraid of buttons; does that make it selfish to wear a shirt with buttons on?
I don't think you can blame the dog for you failing to interact with your family and friends. You can blame the owners for getting a dog in spite of you warning them in advance that "if you get a dog I won't be able to have you over to my house" (which I assume you did, of course?). Why not make alternative arrangements with them? Just explain that your partner has a phobia of dogs and you can't see them when the dog is present. Perhaps offer to pay for a dog-sitter. If you haven't told them any of this and just fob them off when they want to visit then it's your fault that the relationship is suffering.