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c00ps-
Sounds like you need about 8000 psi to fill a paintball gun tank thing and it fires a ball with 500-1000 psi. Might be a bit beyond my mini-pump. Shock pumps go up to about 600psi, so if you could get a paintball-sized sausage you could fire a single sausage... every hundred km I guess?
Edit: pretty handy actually, when the tank fills up and your suspension locks out you know you've got a sausage locked and loaded
frankenbike
How about this: design some sort of suspension system that pumps up a tank - basically stick a mini-pump between your steerer and crown - then you have a trigger on your bars with a hopper of frozen sausages and a paintball-gun-type thing on your stem. When you see a road user doing something naughty you put them down with a frozen sausage in the back of the head.
James Bond/nail-gun, No Country For Old Men/doorknob type situation.