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That bike has more problems than just the tyres!
But maybe you're right... so I wonder if I can bodge a 650b rim brake wheel and CX rim into a 26" frame? Just need 12.5mm vertical wiggle room in the calipers. Might see if I can borrow a wheel and try it.
Or maybe just stop whinging and get some MTB tyres.
Ah, that's clever with the derailleur clamp, sadly won't work for my 25.8mm bars. But I'll bodge something together.
What about this? Granted it's been converted to 700c so not quite the same on the clearance front. But it looks sweet.