Housemate problems - what do I do?

who drinks Budweiser? WAC

Clean up, act like nothing happened.

This.

Make the house cleaner than it’s ever been. Deny you did it.

Housemate problems - what do I do?

Simple: don't have housemates.

Clean up, then exchange everything in his room for the contents of another room. When he comes back ask how he got in, as he moved out before Christmas.

Stick with it, insist that he moved out, someone else moved in- bonus points if you can get his keys off him.

How dare you? How DARE you? How dare you call me inhumane?

Shit in the kettle.

What if op wants a cup of tea?

I do amongst other things ....

So it's just one person? I'd group chat the rest of the group telling them not to touch anything. Take photos how it stands....and when all the rest of the house is back he either shapes up or ships out....

Op would like the option

Just clean only the plates you need too

Good point, I may do this for the meantime and see what happens when people start coming back after Christmas

Photos are of after the party, before any cleaning up which is yet to take place. And yes that would be his reasoning as I understand it. However whatever mess left by the rest of us is minimal and as there's 6 of us in the house operating on different schedules and timetables etc it's normal that there's always going to be some sort of trace of life left behind. Were tidy people for the most part, his actions are extravagant and have blown shit out of the water

Everyone's accountable for their own cleaning and no one leaves the facilities we share in an unusable condition like this. Me sorting this out tomorrow night is the fastest way to sort this out but principally not right.

Maybe im seeing this as an act of vindictive aggression (especially the food in the garden) more than just a childish way of getting your own back. Whatever his reasoning behind this is I'm sure the house politics aren't gonna get any better in the near future

Hammer frozen shitty kettles into his face.

Do you have a picture of one of those?

Fill his flesh light or his lube of choice with embrocation cream and clean everything up like nothing happened

Share the photos with the other house-mates. Next time he leaves a sarky note just print a pic off and attach.
Maybe the landlord would like to be aware of this anti-social behavor, I'm sure the tennancy agreement will have some mention of resonable tidyness. And as you say, the neighbours could be offended, which will concern him.

Use his face to sausage lawn shit into his frozen hammer?

Report him to Babylon for being a smack dealer.
Even if nothing comes of it it’ll ruin his afternoon.

I thought the pics would be something like this -

Bit of a non story. Can't have been that much of a party with that few bottles. My kitchen bench often looks like that after a session for one!

fuck me what a wet fart of a thread.

Cut his ear off while he sleeps

#messlife

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