Moving out of London

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  • ^^You can stop with n'all.

    I'm completely fine with all criticism btw. I'm new at this and keen to find out what people think.

  • The lone part is the important part, the area/town/city may be ethnically diverse to white eyes, but how often will anyone whose dark see others going about your daily business, how many will work with you, how many will live where you live? If the answers to those questions is not many to none, then you feeling as if you're lone black face can come on you pretty damn quickly.
    I spent my university years in Newcastle (albeit, a long time ago), and I saw more black people on one 10 min tube journey from Victoria to Stockwell than I had in the first three months I was staying there.
    I know multiculturalism is scarce in a place when other black people acknowledge my presence, saying both non verbally and verbally "I see you."
    From my perspective, I see friends who moved to london, then move out of london, to raise kids in spaces closer in spirit to where they grew up. I grew up in a multicultural inner city, moving to the countryside, commuter belt town, isn't going to give me that, and I want to raise my kids around other people of colour, and not be that lone dark child in nursery/primary school who I have to have the conversation about race/racism/why are they making fun of my skin colour/hair with...

  • Received as intended here. Made me chuckle in places too.

  • Yes, I loved Margate, Birmingham, Bristol, Leeds when I visited and could easily see my self living there but it'll be trading one city for other hardly any point.

    Depends if you like the culture I suppose. Bath had a great vibe when I lived there years ago, Bristol the same. Maybe they've changed, but the people were kinda different to the South East crowd.

  • @cornelius_blackfoot I bet man. I can't really imagine how isolating it can be.

    It's pretty white round here. There's one asian family on our street and the week we moved in they had their car windows smashed. Could have been coincidence of course...

  • I have no inclination to leave London, I just love it too much but if I do get tired of it at some point, I won't have the choice to move out to the sticks.

    why, because you're not white? bullshit.
    don't want, and can't are different things.

    remember that there are visibly non-white people who have grown up in "the sticks" and many more who have grown up in provincial towns, surrounded by white faces and have real lives - and yes some of it is fucking weird (especially looking back) but it's also a version of normal.

  • don't want, and can't are different things.

    Yeah maybe this.

    but it's also a version of normal.

    Yes this too.

    Who in their right minds would leave Catford?! #Catexit

  • I see friends who moved to london, then move out of london, to raise kids in spaces closer in spirit to where they grew up. I grew up in a multicultural inner city, moving to the countryside, commuter belt town, isn't going to give me that, and I want to raise my kids around other people of colour

    I do think about this sometimes. Not that I'm going to have kids, but I wonder about my own sense of 'home'. I like London and I don't really see myself leaving any time soon, but when I was younger I always thought I'd go 'home' eventually. When I was a kid I didn't really notice myself being the odd one out because you don't see yourself. My hometown is much more diverse than it used to be, although it's not London, but there are still villages and towns that aren't. I wonder if I could ever go back to being comfortable in all-white spaces. (I think, probably, yes. It's how I grew up, and that counts for a lot. But I'm not entirely sure if I could or if I'd want to.)

  • After your reply to @amey, was going to go back and re-edit my post as I'd grouped all people of colour living in the UK into people of colour living in London. And as you pointed out, there are a number of them who will have grown up in all-white spaces, and their experience and adaptation to it is just as valid, but it's not mine and I find it hard to get my head round it, and I think that's as much to do with being London born and raised as it is to be black caribbean london born and raised.
    I've only got my inner city london experience to work from and having studied in newcastle and worked in Manchester, I can live in all white spaces, but I know also that from a purely personal selfish perspective, I don't want to raise kids outside of london in those spaces, even as you've noted people have and continue to do so..

    Shit's complicated...

    Anyway @Fatberg, nicely written, great insight, looking forward to more..

  • Nah, I thought your post was clearly talking about your own experience.
    It's odd realising that something you thought was (almost) entirely comfortable at the time is no longer comfortable - which can be said for many things as part of growing up and seeing more of the world. But there's also a thing about going back to what you knew, even if it's not what you really know any longer...

  • understand totally, which is why when friends move out of london, despite me wanting them to stay, and them knowing that it won't be the same, the pull of moving to someplace closer in spirit to where they grew up is strong.
    And is also why I'm so adamant about my kids being raised in london, as I don't have the pull of someplace else/ another "home" to head to. I brought my home. Anyplace else I head to be will be a dislocation...

  • Dislocation is a fucker to get your head around, I'm still wrestling with it and I've been here for two and a half years...

  • Will never understand the obsession with London. You fuckers need to get some geographic diversity. . . Another good read (fatberg), ta.

  • It's simple. Everywhere else I have ever been is not as good.

  • Opposite for me.

  • I'm aware of what forum I'm on, but every time I drive into London I want to move out of London.

    It's an unwelcome but apparent feature of my life that I now need to go to Reading every week - to a business park on the outskirts, by the M4 to be specific, and the car is the least worst option, and it's still fucking dreadful.

  • I didn’t have a home other than London. I was born and raised in Scotland, parents moved to a soulless and very quiet commuter town outside a London when I was 6. I really hated it. Had a few friends in the neighbourhood but they drifted then went to a school two towns away. Had friends there but that was never my home town either. I hated the lad and club culture in the night life when I was old enough to get out and basically counted the hours till I could leave and go to London. I’ve never wanted to leave. London has always been home although I had nowhere in particular to call my own. Twenty three years of short term lets all over the capital, rising rent and owning no furniture changed when I was finally able to buy in SE23 2012. That became home for the three years. I cried when we left. We left cos we wanted enough space for a little girl to run about and have her own room. We couldn’t afford it in London despite both earning good money. Nor claiming victimhood here, just putting the very difficult decision to leave in context. I still wonder if we did the right thing and the blog is part of trying to figure that out.

  • I did five-odd years of commuting the other way - Reading to the West End - by train and tube. Put years on me mentally and physically. Car is definitely the least worse option, but not by much; the M4 corridor is a special circle of hell during the week. Feel your pain.

  • What on Earth is that paragraph at the end about? She pretended to be African?

  • Follow that link, older article on her. The fact she seems fine using the term 'half-caste' speaks volumes. Oh! Your dad was in the SS!

  • Years back when the SS story broke, the line was that he was a nice SS officer. Balloon animal division or something

  • I've only got my inner city london experience to work from and having studied in newcastle and worked in Manchester, I can live in all white spaces

    Come on Corny, are you seriously suggesting that there's a complete lack of diversity in Manchester??

  • Nope, Manchester was more about being from london and catching grief from Mancunians who had a chip on their shoulder about my home town.

  • Come and try out Bath? < 60 mins into Reading station.

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Moving out of London

Posted by Avatar for lemonade @lemonade

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