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  • The Hobbit is a great children's book. Almost everything else Tolkien wrote is pompous, overwrought and in some cases bloody awful.

    The Lord of the Rings is a book for hormonal teenagers. If you think it's a literary classic and you've over 19 you're suffering a severe case of arrested development.

    The Silmarillion has less literary merit than the Book of Mormon (a book it strongly resembles).

    I work in software engineering and I can't say these things out loud or they'll kill me.

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